Soap Chips for Lunch, Anyone?

I do believe that my first official craving has kicked in. Frozen yogurt. Not the kind that you buy at the grocery store, but the kind dispensed and made to order with copious amounts and varieties of toppings. I have actually always liked frozen yogurt, but now I find myself thinking about it morning, noon and night. When I got up today and was contemplating what to make for breakfast, I found myself secretly yearning for a chocolate, coconut twist with fresh berries and chocolate shavings.

As far as cravings go, I don't think I have made the worst possible choice in the books. I have heard it all from chicken livers to cottage cheese. Gross. There are even some women who apparently crave things that are entirely unedible, like dirt and soap. There is a term for this, what I consider to be "disorder". Sorry, ladies if I offend, but with all the delicious foods out there why in the hell are you craving dirt? This condition(to put it lightly) is called pica

"Pica is the practice of craving substances with little or no nutritional value. Most pica cravings involve non-food substances such as dirt or chalk. The word pica is Latin for magpie which is a bird notorious for eating almost anything.
Some speculate that pica cravings are the body's attempt to obtain vitamins or minerals that are missing through normal food consumption. Sometimes pica cravings may be related to an underlying physical or mental illness. (get out, really? Mental Illness you say?)
The most common substances craved during pregnancy are dirt, clay, and laundry starch. Other pica cravings include: burnt matches, stones, charcoal, mothballs, ice, cornstarch, toothpaste, soap, sand, plaster, coffee grounds, baking soda, and cigarette ashes."

So see, yogurt ain't so bad. There is one thing however about my current sub zero obsession that I do have a problem with. In this city, the only type of yogurt I can readily get my hands on is corporate.

Starbucks(the evil empire which has succeeded in running practically every independent coffee shop out of town) apparently has an evil and crafty younger sibling, Pinkberry. These two horrendous beasts have the same M.O. They find a small Mom and Pop establishment, set up shop just a few doors down and proceed to bankrupt, bleed out, and stomp any and all related competition. I firmly believe that these products are no better or of higher quality. In fact, I despise Starbucks coffee and will avoid it at all costs. I think it tastes horrible, like burnt sludge. Also, while I'm at it, why can't you just name your sizes S,M,L? Does one really need to say "grande" when ordering? Oooh, what a clever and witty marketing ploy. Are you trying to make me feel"wordly" as if I am in a foreign country ordering coffee?

Pinkberry you smarmy little brat, are no better. Over the years, I have borne witness to all the little indie yogurt shops one by one, hanging their heads in defeat and closing up shop. There is only one I know of who has survived this corporate brutality(even with a Pinkberry newly opened right around the corner). This beautiful yogurt shop is in the Valley and it is hands down one of the best I have ever visited. Studio City Yogurt. When I lived in that area, I used to walk over there at least four times a week. You just can't compete with these Peter Parker-like dispensers of frozen goodness. No one can. They are the masters, the king of kings. Every day, five flavors, one dairy free, one sugar free. When you request toppings they put them in the bottom of the cup AND on top of the yogurt. Not to mention, their frozen yogurt is a far better consistency than Pinkberry's(which I think resembles ice milk) and you can always change it up with crazy, fun new flavors. The shitty part for me is that I no longer live in the Valley and the only yogurt shop near me is Pinkberrry's.

So time and time again, there I find myself eating my yogurt while listening to horrible tween pop piped into the seating area. At least I know I am much safer there than in the backyard eating handfuls of burnt log or dirt.